


I Was Not Expecting This!

by TaleasOldasTimeandSpace



Series: Yet Another Gratuitously Fluffy Darcyland Soulmate AU [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: But he deals, F/M, Fluff and Crack, SHIP DARCY WITH ALL THE THINGS, ShieldShock - Freeform, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Steve is Confused, and concerned, and soulmate fics, darcy will make sure her soulmate is in no doubt, first foray into marvel fics, it won't be the last, mentions of other Avengers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 08:17:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7353127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaleasOldasTimeandSpace/pseuds/TaleasOldasTimeandSpace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neither Darcy nor Steve were expecting to meet their soumate in the kitchen at two in the morning.  However, Darcy is always prepared.<br/>Steve is slightly worried.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Was Not Expecting This!

Growing up, Steve’s Soulmark was always a vague source of concern.  The words were supremely ominous, and he could never quite decide if they would be said jokingly or with absolute gravity.  He prayed for the former and braced for the latter.

During the war he half-expected them to be said by some horrible product of Hydra experimentation.  After he woke up from the ice and found out that aliens were real, the notion that his soulmate could be some non-humanoid alien with a surprising grasp of the English language became a very real possibility.

He was a pretty easy-going guy, but he would prefer _not_ to have a nocturnal, winged _creature_ with an odd vendetta against hot beverages for a soulmate.  If at all possible.  Thank you kindly.

Bucky thought they were hilarious and teased him mercilessly about them.  (Laugh it up, jerk.  It wasn’t like he _chose_ to have the threat of a psychopathic alien soulmate hanging over his head his entire life.)

 

* * *

 

Darcy blamed her tendency to lurk in corners and darkened rooms on her soulmate.  After all, her words carried the flavour of one startled by unexpected company, and she did have an uncanny knack for fading into the background when not actively scientist-wrangling.  It wasn’t that she was ignored.  It was just that, despite her propensity for loud arguments with Tony, she had an ability to sit still and quiet in a corner that impressed even the resident assassins.  Clint and Natasha never forgot she was there, of course, but everybody else did.  At least until she deliberately startled them.

This ability, combined with her determination to compensate for her words—while not common, _Who’s there?_ wasn’t exactly unique, and she decided when she was little that her response would be as random as possible to make up for it—made for some interesting encounters over the years.

The first time she met Clint, for example, she was sitting in the common room reading _The Two Towers_ when one of the vents popped open and Hawkeye—in full tactical gear, no less—lowered himself into the room.  She had watched with interest as he stealthily made his way to the kitchenette, intent, she later discovered, on replacing Tony’s last Coke with a Coke can filled with Dr. Pepper.  Tony had very strong feelings on the superiority of Coke over Dr. Pepper.

She had deliberately turned a page, trusting his Super Spy Assassin Senses ™ to catch it, and was not disappointed when he stiffened and said, ‘Who’s there?’

‘Just poor Smeagol, precious.  _Gollum, gollum.’_   She had the satisfaction of watching him jump at her outstanding Gollum impression, and while she was slightly disappointed that he didn’t turn out to be her soulmate, having Hawkeye as a surrogate brother more than made up for it.  As did the mischief they jointly rained down from the ventilation system on the rest of the tower’s occupants.

Still, it wasn’t a desire to lurk in the hopes of startling her soulmate that drove her into the common room at 2.15 in the morning.  She’d finally managed to put Jane to bed after a three-day Science! bender, and she need to unwind with something of the warm, chocolate variety before she had any hope of sleeping herself.  So she draped her exploding TARDIS blanket over her head like a cloak and sallied forth in search of hot chocolate like Grandma Lewis used to make.  She didn’t bother turning on the lights.  She used the kitchen so much she had the layout and all of its contents memorized.  Besides, turning on a light would snap her out of the vaguely comatose state she was currently enjoying.

 

* * *

 

Steve didn’t make a habit of hanging around in the common room after hours, but returning to the tower after yet another failed search for Bucky left him exhausted and feeling nostalgic enough to try his hand at Mrs. Barnes old hot chocolate recipe.  He was pretty sure JARVIS would be able to keep him from burning the tower down, and might even have some useful tips for making hot chocolate from scratch.  After a quick shower and a change into comfortable pajamas, he made his way through the darkened tower to the kitchen.

He was not expecting to find a dim, shadowy blob moving almost silently in the dark kitchen.  Tensing, his hand twitched for the shield he’d left in his room.  He hadn’t planned on running into threating shapes in the communal kitchen of the Avengers’ Tower at 2.20 in the morning, for crying out loud!  _‘Who’s there?’_ he asked sternly, prepared for anything.

Actually no.  No, he wasn’t.

 

* * *

 

It was probably the debate she’d had earlier with Tony about whether or not Darkwing Duck was better than Duck Tales that prompted her answer.  Without turning around, Darcy flapped her blanket and replied ominously, ‘ _I am the terror that flaps in the night.  I am the sour milk in your homemade hot chocolate.’_  

'No way.'

The lights came on abruptly, and she wrapped the blanket over her face.  ‘Gah, my eyes!  The light!  It burns, it freezes!’  She waited until her eyes adjusted, then slowly emerged from her fuzzy shield.  ‘Yeesh, warn a girl before you hit the lights, will ya?  I could’ve gone blind.’  She turned around to meet the shocked gaze of Steven Grant Rogers, Captain America himself.  Perfect.  ‘I’m exaggerating, obviously.  There’s absolutely no risk of blinding from suddenly turning on kitchen lights, and even if there were, it would be my own fault for leaving them off in the first place.  I just didn’t want to wake up, y’know?  Not that I was asleep, more in a state of semi-consciousness, and wow, I’m rambling, I’ll stop now.  But dude, why are you looking at me like that?’

He was watching her with a manic grin on his face.  The longer she talked, the bigger his grin got.  It wasn’t at all an expression Captain America should have on his face—it seemed to go completely against his whole Truth, Justice, and the American Way shtick.  Then again, she’d read the history books.  This was probably _exactly_ the expression he wore right before he jumped out of Howard Stark’s plane to rescue the 107 th with nothing more than a handgun and a prop shield.  She realized he’d said something, and she had no idea what it was.  _Way to make an impression, Darcy._   ‘Sorry, what?’

The grin morphed into a lopsided smirk.  ‘I said, “I’m so glad you’re not an alien.”’

She blinked.  ‘Uh, no, no I’m not.  I mean, I’m _friends_ with an alien—after I tazed him, of course—but as for me, I’m just Darcy, Basil and Clara Lewis’ little girl.  And unless one or both of _them_ is an alien, I’m 100% human.’  She raised an eyebrow.  ‘Do you generally expect to find aliens in the kitchen at two in the morning?’

‘Nope.  But I don’t generally expect to find my soulmate in the kitchen at two in the morning, either.’

‘Wait, what?’

He pulled up his pant leg and there on his right calf, in her somewhat messy handwriting (really, messy was relative.  Compared to Jane’s writing, Darcy’s was suitable for penning the Declaration of Independence), was a paraphrase from Darkwing Duck.  She hadn’t even been _trying_ this time.  Watching her reaction through his lashes, he said, ‘I was half-convinced you were going to turn out to be some weird winged alien, especially after I woke up from the ice and found out aliens were real.’

She buried her cheeks in the blanket to hide her blush.  ‘Heh, sorry about that.  Darkwing Duck wouldn’t have been a thing in the Forties, would it?’  Turning around, she pulled the neck of her shirt down to show him the words on her left shoulder.  ‘In my defense, “who’s there” aren’t the most unique words out there.  I figured _one_ of us should stand out, and it obviously wasn’t going to be you.’

‘You have a point.’  He reached out, fingers hovering over the words.  ‘May I?’  She nodded, and he traced the letters, a goofy grin on his face.

‘Well.’  She fixed her shirt and adjusted her blanket.  ‘Misleading soulmarks aside, I was just making myself some hot chocolate when you jumped me.  Would you like some?  Guaranteed to be sour milk free, swear to Mew Mew.’

‘That would be swell.  And maybe you could explain what exactly Darkwing Duck is?’

 

* * *

 

When Clint dropped out of the vents the next morning, he was only mildly surprised to find Darcy drooling on Captain America’s shoulder, both of them curled unconscious under Darcy’s exploding TARDIS blanket in front of the TV that politely inquired if they were still watching Darkwing Duck.  He shook his head and took a few pictures with his phone in case the Darcy/Clint Unholy Alliance of Terror should ever dissolve and he found himself in need of blackmail material on Darcy or Steve.  It wasn’t something he expected to happen, but he _was_ a Super Spy Assassin ™.  It was literally in his job description to have contingencies for everything.  Sticking the phone back in his pocket, he hoisted himself back up into the vents to and crawled away to find Natasha.  She would want to see it in person before they woke up.

 

**Author's Note:**

> The alliance never dissolved. In fact, it became all the stronger, thanks to the addition of Steve (much to Tony’s horror). Spangly suits to the contrary, Steve is just as good at lurking as Darcy, and we all know that he’s a major troll.
> 
> Steve loved Darkwing Duck. And Ducktales. And Chip ‘n’ Dale. They remind him of the cartoons that were shown before movies back in the day.
> 
> The exploding TARDIS blanket is their favourite cuddle blanket. It ain’t big enough for the both of them, but they make it work. It’s a mandatory component of late-night hot chocolate and cartoon parties.
> 
> Darcy is the one who coined and trademarked Super Spy Assassins. She eventually shortened it to Sspyssassins. When Bucky joined them, she started referring to him, Clint, and Natasha as the Sspyssassins Three. When she wasn’t calling them Huey, Dewey, and Louie, that is. Steve gets that reference, and is insufferably smug.
> 
> *flings self headlong into Darcyland*
> 
> Well. This wasn’t something I ever intended to write, but I love Darcy. And soulmate fics. And Darcy-soulmate fics. And then I thought of Darcy quoting Darkwing Duck, and everything just kinda spiraled from there.
> 
> Besides, as a proud member of the Hybrid Baby Wastebasket, writing Marvel fics was only a matter of time.


End file.
